My journey to Feminine healing…

In my May 19^th posting “Re-Claiming my Feminine side” I talked about my journey in discovering that through a divorce years ago I had pushed my feminine side deeper within to a near non-existent state.  At that time I felt that I had reclaimed a part of me that had been on a long vacation and it did feel that way on that day.

It’s been 3 weeks since that time and a lot of life has happened in between.  I’m continually amazed at how fulfilled I feel one day, and how lost I feel the next.  While on my journey to reclaiming the softer side of me I have had many amazing awareness’s surface, much thought and healing have taken place, and more forward progress too. 

During one of my shamanic journey sessions I was guided to make a rattle.  Yes, I know some of this sounds way out there, but let me tell you it has been a beautiful process of continued acceptance and healing for me. 

I received the gift of deer hooves from my native North American Indian neighbor to use as the part of the rattles, and Deirdre (my shamanic guide) held a rattle making session.  When I started the process I thought I was only making one rattle, however, I received spiritual guidance to make two.  One rattle for feminine healing and one for masculine healing.  I choose buffalo hide for the feminine rattle head and deer hide for the masculine rattle. 

During the making of the rattle head I was gently guided in a beautiful way that came from within and from a higher place.  Time being limited during the rattle making session; I was guided to focus on making the feminine rattle.  I cut the buffalo hide in the shape of a bear, soaked the hide to soften it for stitching, and was lead to choose a variety of feathers, beads, fur and leather strands to adorn the rattle.  I gathered the adornments for both of my rattles, which would make them similar but different.

Then came the stitching of the rattle head.  Do you know how strong and tough buffalo hide is?  I surely didn’t!  It took great effort to push the needle through the hide, making tight stitches at the begging and as time grew short the stitches become further apart.  With each stitch in the hide, I felt tears well up and heard… “Go gently; it will become easier with the birth”. 

When I completed the stitching, Deirdre tied the knot to secure the stitching and said the thread needed cut.  I looked at her and said “You have been my mother through the birthing of my feminine side, guided me and supported my process.  Will you cut the umbilical cord and give birth to me & my feminine side?” 

Upon the cutting of the cord, I felt elated and born a new! 

I stuffed the bear head rattle with sand, and placed it in the oven to dry.  With time running short I left and knew I had to leave to attend to my other family committments.  

When I arrived back on the farm and walked the dogs to the barn for feeding, birds of all kinds (hawks, crows, barn swallows, robins, to name a few) flew overhead talking to me and welcoming me home!  

The rattle’s are not complete and more is to be revealed…. stay tuned as I share the rest of the journey to reclaiming my feminine side.

Tags: Awareness, Emotional Support, Growth, Personal Development, renewal, self development, Trust, Women Issues