When I make resolutions they are usually broken by the 2nd of January. Instead of making resolutions, I’m checking the tires on my car. My life tires that is!

You won’t get very far if your car tires are damaged, worn, or flat no matter how much time you have spent mapping out the route. The same is true in life. Checking the tires first lets you set a course for a smoother more enjoyable ride.

I check my tires by taking an assessment of the main areas of my life. It provides a clearer understanding and an acknowledgement of what’s working and not working. I chunk my life into 5 areas: Career, Self, Family/Friends, Community, Spiritual. Use what works for you.

Next I look at each area through another filter system and create a picture of how my tires look. The picture comes to life by placing a satisfaction score of 1 – 10 (10 being most satisfied and on the outer edge of the tire versus 1 being not satisfied located at the center of the tire). Place a mark on the wheel for each area using these filters:

1. Time spent (how much time do you spend, are you satisfied with that amount)
2. Overall satisfaction (happy, content, or is something missing)
3. Benefits received (this can be anything you perceive as a benefit)
4. Energy (how much energy is expended this area)

Don’t over analyze your response, go with your first reaction and make a mark on the wheel for each area in your life using the four filters above and connect the dots.

Below is my personal assessment. If I put that tire on my car how far could I go? How fast?

It sounds like a simple process but it is one that is often overlooked. Many people speak about not having time and energy for things they want to do. What I’ve observed is most people jump in the car, start the engine and head out the driveway without checking the tires, filling up the gas tank, gathering resources for the trip (money, cloths, support, emergency equipment, etc.) and mapping out the route to ensure they enjoy a smooth ride without missing the scenery along the road.

Looking at my wheel I know what areas have not been satisfying, which have been, and it’s time to make adjustments, add some air to the tires and round out my 2011 goals for a smoother more enjoyable ride.

Have you check your tires lately?

L-E-A-D was included in Inside Business Magazine January/February edition of Best Practices:  Meetings & Events.  Read us in Galloping Host,  

Let us host your next business retreat, leadership or team development; or book an EquiCoaching session or workshop with us.  LEAD is fun, and produces results without keeping you locked inside a stuffy classroom.    

You may be surprised that your greatest teacher is a horse!

Winter is a great time to review your goals, enjoy your accomplishments of the year, set some new goals and ponder what you’d like to do differently in the New Year.  It’s also a great time to reflect on what is important, notice what you’ve released, and rejoice in how far you’ve come!

I opened a gift yesterday!  One that sat on my bookshelf for several years all wrapped in beautiful paper with a big bow on top!  The first year it peered at me and I thought about it a lot.  I wanted to unwrap it and dig out the gift, but I held back and allowed it to sit quietly on the shelf.  The following years it became a faint memory, and I’d notice the beautifully wrapped package on the shelf every once in a while but had no desire to open it.

Last week the package called to me like a distant friend I’d not heard from in a long time.  I noticed it and said “it’s time to bring you down from your perch and open you up”.

Inside the beautiful package were individual pieces of paper holding a word or two that I had placed inside so many years ago:  
~ But
~ Could Have
~ If Only
~ Should Have
~ Fear
~ Would Have
~ Doubt 

These were words I desired to eliminate from my mind and life.  My relationship with these old friends had held me back and I needed some distance from them.  They had left me wanting more, feeling less than, and at time turned my life upside down.  

I looked at each piece of paper and word, and remember how that old friend had served me in the past.  As I did, I thanked each one for being of service to me and told them good bye.  Our friendship no longer held meaning for me, I had out grown our relationship and it was time to part ways.  

What old friends are you still holding onto?  Are there some beliefs that no longer serve you well?  Do certain words, people, habits or ideals hold you back? 

Maybe it’s time to wrap them up in a beautiful package and place them on your shelf!  Give yourself the gift of freedom from them, keep them wrapped up and see how different your life can be.  When it’s time, you can unwrap your gift and see how you feel about those old friendships.      

Oh I still visit these old friends occasionally.  I have a little chat, and quickly say goodbye.  They have lost their impact and hold on my life.  And I’m enjoying the gift of letting them go.

What do you desire to let go of this year?

According to the Forbes article “How to Lead Like Oprah” the key to her success is attributed to focusing on the 3 Business areas of Team, Vision and Values and the following 10 Leadership Practices:

1.  Carefully Team Selection
2.  Trusted Mentors
3.  Valuing the Customer
4.  Strategically extending Brand
5.  Keep Brand focused
6.  Reward Employees
7.  Dream Big
8.  Communicate Vision to inspire the Team
9.  Demonstrate Social Conscience
10 Be and Remain Resilient

While doing all of the above may sound daunting to business owners, it does provide food for thought.

You may not have the millions or even hundreds of dollars to spend on growing your business like Oprah, but you can ponder and consider how you might boost your business by focusing on at least: Team, Vision and Values.

While I agree with Oprah’s Leadership focus, implement them in reverse would be beneficial.

What are the values of your company?

Having written company values allows everyone to understand what is important to the organization, they are windows through which decisions are made, the cornerstone to goal-setting/achievement, aid in being more effective & purposeful, and rarely change.

What is the vision of your company?

A vision statement sets a path to where the organization is going; it guides people to set goals that will get the organization closer to its vision. It’s written in future tense.

There is often confusion over Mission, Vision and Purpose statements. Don’t let that hinder you from setting the direction of the company. Without a statement of direction it is left to a multitude of interpretations.

And if Oprah isn’t your thing, take a look at Apple Computers vision:

“Apple computer is committed to protecting the environment, health and safety of our employees, customers and the global communities where we operate. We recognise that by integrating sound environmental, health and safety management practices into all aspects of our business, we can offer technologically innovative products and services while conserving and enhancing resources for future generations. apple strives for continuous improvement in our environmental, health and safety management systems and in the environmental quality of our products, processes and services.”

What team members do you need?

Clarified values and vision makes selecting team members easier. It provides guidelines to interview and find the best of the best to move the organization forward. Do your people uphold the values of the organization? Can they contribute to moving the company’s vision closer to reality? Do they have the knowledge, skills and ability to set goals for growth and prosperity? Will they challenge the company to set “Big Hairy Audacious Goals” as prescribed by “Built to Last: Successful habits of Visionary Companies”?

Moving your company forward into a growth mode might be as simple as revisiting your Values, Vision and Team. If you don’t have them defined, what’s holding you back?

With instant gratification that comes with technology, we are spending less and less time ACTUALLY talking to each other face-to-face. People seem are becoming less interested in knowing someone in person than checking out what’s happening with all their “Facebook” friends, many of whom they don’t even know.

Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute of Drug Abuse, stated that “Technology is rewiring our brains.” The brain needs regular exercise just like the rest of our body. With instant gratification of the Web, we are building new neural connections and letting others disintegrate.

How is this affecting people, and our children?

The constant stimulation provided by the Internet, cell phones, Ipods, texting etc. is making it difficult if not impossible to concentrate for long stretches of time. Projects, reading books, studying for college tests, or anything that just requires focus, is being diminished. Our brains are being rewired to expect stimulation.

Texting has taken over being with and enjoying the company of family and friends. Many people forget that 80% of communication is non-verbal, tone, inflection, body language which is all lost when communication via email or texting. People tend to be bolder when emailing or texting versus if they were looking the person in the eye.

University of Michigan found that college students are 40% lower on empathy than 20 years ago.

We are only witnessing the beginning of human behavior decline due to so much missed opportunities, work ethics are shifting, and our society will continue to decline if we do not know how to speak to a person face-to-face.

What are you seeing in business and at home? Let us know, we’d love to hear from you.

Not a typical partners, two consultants and coaches coming together to provide services for the others clients, which is what made it intriguing to both of us.  Along with Leslie’s love for horses, she use to ride and show horses for years.  So we met, discussed details, and decided to give it a whirl.  

Horse Talk:  Lessons in Leadership is what Leslie has called the program we created for her clients and we ran her first group of clients through a one day program in late May and another in July.  Both were hugely successful with many Leadership skills developed  in both groups. 

Our partnership offers Electric Impulse Communications to offer another service to their clients, and for us to expose L-E-A-D and the power of our herd to more people.    A win/win situation for both companies and all of those involved!

Below is Leslie’s newsletter on the lessons learned in a one day session with our herd.

What Did You Do On Your Professional Development Day “Off”?Nine Executive Lessons Learned in an Unusual Way
by Leslie Ungar

The drill was always the same. When you returned to school each Fall you had the same challenge: answer the traditional “what I did on my summer vacation” in front-of-class presentation. Fast-forward a few decades. Now you can title the challenge, answer the “what I did on my Professional Development Day-Off” question.

To some, the idea of this day out of the office was a good thing. Imagine, a day off-site, in jeans and boots. A day where cell phones and Droids are banned and no one even misses their once attached apparatus. A day where a port-a-potty rules the day and no one complains.

Yet a day so challenging some executives figuratively stomped their feet in imaginary tantrums. Look in the mirror and see your reflection. Look in a horse’s eyes, and see your reflection from a four-legged mirror. A mirror whose survival for centuries has depended on an innate ability to identify leadership. A mirror whose image you can change in minutes.

With no riding involved, a horse can help you identify your communication and leadership skills. It’s really pretty simple: if you can lead a horse without a halter or lead, you can lead a team or a company. If a horse won’t follow you, neither will a prospect, client, team or board member.

Lessons executives learned in one off-site day with three horses to teach them and two professionals to observe.

Lesson #1: You have to know where you are going if you want anyone to follow.  In the first morning exercise, Nick could not get Boss to move, not one inch. He stood in the middle of the pasture, mentally begging this thousand pound horse to flinch. You can pull, cajole, or bribe. A horse will not follow a tentative leader. If you want a horse to follow, you have to know where you are going. Here’s a news flash: people need to know where you are going, too.

Lesson #2: Keep the horse, and your audience, engaged.  A horse may follow you, and then stop. That’s because you did not keep him engaged. Jim learned that he had to keep his eye on his forward goal; at the same time he had to keep connected with the horse. Here’s a news flash: a human audience will also disengage if you don’t stay connected.

Lesson #3: Mixed messages are confusing.  Tony waved his arms to get the horse to move forward. At the same time, he said, WHOA, whoa. Here’s a news flash: when you give mixed signals you impede your own progress. How many times have you wondered why you did not get your desired response?

Lesson #4: Sometimes, you have to get “muddy” to have success.  Like Kim, put yourself in a round paddock with a loose horse, and mud in the middle. The horse represents your immediate report. The only way to get the horse “on the rail” was for Kim to walk through the mud. The horse needs to feel and see your presence. Some things you cannot legislate from above. Here’s a news flash: at times you have to engage in hand to hand communication, you have to come down from the 10,000 or 30,000 perch.

Lesson #5: “Pray it moves” is not a winning strategy.  Jeff was stymied in the “billiards” exercise. In this challenge you have to get the loose horse into a “pocket” you have created. You identify which horse, like identifying which ball. Then you proceed to work the horse into the designated pocket. At one point Jeff said, let’s just pray it (the horse) moves. Here’s a news flash: praying outside of church is just not a strategy.

Lesson #6: Don’t give up leadership willingly.  At one point the participants formed one team. Each person could speak only when they rotated out of the line as the temporary leader. Each then had thirty seconds to speak, to lead, to problem solve. Some shrunk from the limelight and added no value in their time as leader. Here’s a news flash: leaders don’t disappear in the spotlight.

Lesson #7: You don’t have to be the leader to be inclusive.  The obstacle course was a long and tedious exercise. We would still be in that pasture if not for Jeff S. First the team set up an obstacle course using an array of supplies. Then they had to get one horse through the course without halter or lead. Here’s a news flash: all participants can encourage engagement. The leader is not the only one responsible for team success.

Lesson #8: There is a difference between bribery and reward.  Tracy went back to the barn for carrots. Bribery comes at the beginning to entice. Reward comes at the end. Here’s a news flash: When you start with bribery it becomes difficult to end bribery.

Lesson #9: Push through your own barriers.  Everyone had barriers. They were just different barriers. The challenge to each was to push through their own. Here’s a news flash: we all have barriers. Use whatever resources you need to use, to get over yours.

What did you do on your professional day-off? You got in a pasture with 3,000 pounds of horse, played billiards with a horse as the ball, got a horse to go through an obstacle course un-led, spent one-on-one time with a horse in a paddock with the horse a metaphor for a professional challenge. And you learned about yourself, and how to lead people, a company, and a profession.

How difficult is it for a cashier at Home Depot to provide assurance that your scheduled appointment actually is confirmed in their system?  One phone call, versus “I don’t know you have to go back to the flooring department to confirm it.”  After prodding for another solution she finally made the call and confirmed my appointment, without a thank you or “sorry for the inconvenience”. 

AT&T has the worse track record for me!  I eliminated our home phone over a year ago because they couldn’t get the static off the line after 3 calls to them.  When I called to remove the phone line, they did so very quickly then asked if I wanted another one connected.  They just didn’t get it!  In July my contract for my office phone needed renewed with AT&T which I did.  When my August bill arrived I was billed at much higher rates than my contracted rate, another call to them and they assured me it was handled.  3 months later and as many phone calls, that problem is finally resolved.  Two weeks ago I couldn’t get into my voice mail; with another call to AT&T I learned they changed the VM system requiring me to setup a new account.  Gee, I thought someone would have notified me of a change but I never got anything. 

I purchased Microsoft Office 2010 last week and upgraded my computer.  After 2 hours of upgrading I got an error that a file was missing and while trying to reconfigure my system to its original state there was another file missing.  This basically meant I had lost email capabilities but everything else worked.  It took me 4 hours of frustration when I resolved to contacted my Microsoft Certified computer company for assistance.  They learned that MS states you can upgrade from MS Office 2003 to 2010, but you can’t.  You first have to upgrade to 2007, and then go to 2010.  Gee, would have been nice for MS to put that on their packaging vs. stating it is compatible to upgrade from 2003.  I haven’t received the bill for my computer company’s assistance, but I’m sure it will be more than the $297.00 for the MS upgrade.

All of these incidents are minor compared to the lack of Customer Service and attention to detail I witnessed in the hospital!  My father had two strokes in the past 6 weeks and has been life flighted to a hospital in Pittsburgh just as many times.  The first hospital experience seemed to be very good, attentive doctors and lots of testing.  But I wasn’t at the hospital following up with the doctors or asking all the questions that I had, instead I was consumed with preparing my parents new home so there would be one less thing for him to be concerned about.  I could write more on the lack of Customer Service I experienced during that two week period but the lack of health care if more important. 

When the 2^nd stroke occurred August 18^th I became more vigilant and talked to the doctors.  I felt comfortable they were doing everything they could for his health and continued quality of life.  They answered the questions I could think about at that stressful time.  He had been on Heparin while in the hospital to thin the blood.  When he left the hospital he started bleeding, requiring my mother to take him back to his room and they stopped the bleeding.  What?  They sent him home with prescriptions of Lovenox (shots in the belly 2 times a day for 5 days) and Coumadin to get the levels of blood thinners where they needed to be in hopes of preventing another stroke.

When I got back to their home and started reading the doctors’ orders I was in shock.  My dad was supposed to have a heart monitor on before leaving the hospital!  What the heck??  Who was supposed to ensure the monitor was with him?

A home care nurse came to the house the following day to draw blood, send it to the lab to check his Coumadin level and the doctor was to call later that day.  2 days later and still no call, the nurse was back to draw more blood.  When they didn’t call that day, my mother contacted the nurse who looked into the problem and found the hospital where the blood sample had been sent didn’t do the lab work because his medical insurance wouldn’t pay for it. 

The lack of care from the hospital to the home has been more than a little stressful and it appears no one really cares about the patient except the family.  It’s difficult to manage dad’s care from Ohio but that’s just what I plan to do, even if it requires trips to Pennsylvania and attend the doctors’ appointments to ensure he’s getting the support he needs. 

Is it just me or has Customer Service become a thing of the past? 

I’m still trying to figure out what to do with the hospital situation to raise the awareness of lack of details.  If you have any ideas I’d love to hear them.

As for Home Depot, I filled out the customer survey on-line to provide feedback on the lack of courteous and service.  Microsoft, I’ve filed an on-line complaint to the only place I could find on their website and one with Ohio Attorney General.  AT&T is next on my list and I’ll file a complaint with the Utilities Commission.

How is the Customer Service in your business?  If you’re not hearing anything, don’t take that as a good thing… people are very busy today and many don’t take the time to complain or demand better service. 

Be vigilant in the health care of your loved ones, their life many depend on it!  And if you experience poor service, SPEAK up and tell someone!  If you experience excellent service, tell them!

Yolanda and I continue our relationship from a distance but the inflence of mentoring has proven to support and enhance her dream of establishing her own busienss using the power of horses.

Yolanda writes:  ”I have met Sue a couple of years ago, whilst looking for a mentor in one of the  Equine magazines.  Sue has responded positively to my e-mail request and was always willing to share stories/learning,recommend books to read and courses to attend. Our mentorship relationship developed quickly  into a virtual friendship,  and  we still  keep in touch regulary via e-mail.

The highlight of my friendship with Sue, was a visit to her farm in America. I was scheduled to attend a  conference in Miami and also a  wonderful opportuntiy to meet Sue and her family on her farm. The session , I had with Sue and her horses, was life transforming and still today, I remember  and treasure the lessons learnt from those  amazing animals.”

My friendship with Sue has taught me that “virtual friends” are real, and that they can be just as supportive as  friends that  live with you in the same country.”

Yolanda has been stirring things up with her own business in South Africa doing Leadership programs with horses at the university and at her own barn.  Read an article about her published in in South African newspaper The Herald Leadership course makes horse sense.

It’s amazing to witness the reaches of my friendship with Yolanda and how she is changing the world with the power of horses.  While it feels like yesterday when Yoland visited me in Ohio, it has been more than 6 years.

In Chapter 2, Jim talks about “Taking Your Own Oxygen First”. You know the drill when you fly “in the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead compartment… If you are traveling with a small child or someone who needs assistance put on your own mask before helping others with theirs.”

The message for me was “BREATHE”. Not a new concept for me, but definitely one that rears its ugly head as a reminder that I’m not paying attention to what “I need for ME!”

In my work I see many successful people that hold their breath or breathe shallow and are plagued with the stress and tension. When they tell me “I have no idea what to do” I observe the classic flight, fight, or freeze” behavior (more in next months eNews on that topic).

Do you hold your breath or breathe shallow? Many of you are saying, “Not me, I breathe just fine”. So let’s just do a little experiment, okay?  You have time, it will only take a few minutes!

Where you are right now, stop; and put your feet on the floor. Now, close your eyes and take a deep breath in and hold it till you can’t anymore. Notice what happens to your body. What happened to your shoulders? What happened to your chest? Where do you feel tension? Good, just notice that. 

Now, close your eyes and take a deep breath in and slowly blow it out of your mouth. Pretend there is a candle lit in front of you that you don’t want to blow out and slowly exhale all the breath in your lungs.  Repeat this process 3 times. 

What do you notice now? What shifts are you aware of?  What does this little experiment tell you about yourself? Are you “Taking ENOUGH of Your Own Oxygen First”? 

Dorothy Siminovitch, an inspirational teacher and coach has a wonderful saying that continues to focus me and build my capacity to breathe,  “Anxiety is excitement without breathe”.

Webster’s defines “Anxiety” as “a painful or apprehensive uneasiness, fearful concern or interest, overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension and increased pulse), doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it.”

And “Excitement” is defined as “to arouse to an emotional response by appropriate stimuli”.

When you’re not taking your own oxygen you are shutting off the resource that can provide information to move you in a positive direction. You are “feeding” the anxiety, stress, apprehension, fear, and self-doubt.  Cutting off your oxygen supply cuts off your ability to think clearer, problem solve accurately, become aware of the what is keeping you in a state of “flight, fight or freeze”. 

Are you ready to build capacity to breathe and think clearer versus responding emotionally or not at all? What do you have to loose? Except the “flight, fight or freeze” response that probably no longer serves you well.  

The next time that anxiety stimulus rears its ugly head, stop, notice your breathing, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths in and slowly let it out (keep the candle imagine there and don’t blow out the flame). If 3 breaths doesn’t help, take a few more till you can feel the anxiety subside and you can think clearer. 

WARNING: if you get lightheaded or dizzy, your body is telling you that you are taking in more oxygen than normal and needs to adjust to this new way of breathing.  Slow down, breathe a little less deeply, and keep practicing. You will build your capacity and ability to breathe deeper.

A resource that helped me recognize the benefits of breathing and provides exercises to build your capacity is The Master Key to Self Healing By Andrew Weil, M.D. You can buy the CD’s or download them at Amazon .  

Remember…. “Give Yourself Oxygen First”!

That intention, vision and dream became a reality. At the beginning of the month I presented Unharness Your Leader-Self, Leading and Living Your Vision, and Boundaries LEAD workshops in Istanbul, Turkey.   

                     
       Gila, Lupen and Sue in Istanbul, Turkey

It was a fantastic experience and (I believe) some of the best work I have done.  Gila and her colleagues at Increa Creative Coaching and Consulting did a lot of planning and preperation for the workshops. Which left me to prepare the handouts, book my flight, show up and do the work I love!  What could be more wonderful? 

Gocmen Ranch provided a beautiful setting outside of the bustling city life (estimated population 12 – 15 million, more people than New York City) in Istanbul. The staff were gracious and helpful, the horses fun & happy to be with us, and the food was wonderful. 

Now if the weather would just cooperate it would be perfect! 

Driving to the ranch to meet and work with the horses and do final preperations, it rained and the forecast was for rain during my whole time I would be there.  Upon arrival at the ranch, it quit raining!  One the last day of working with the horses, after everyone had left and the cars were packed up, it started raining again! I felt truly blessed.

Most people have asked about the differences in culture, leadership challenges, communication, team work etc.  I  plan to write more on that later.  But  to answer the BIGGEST question people ask me… “no” I did not fly my horses to Istanbul. 

Horses speak a universal language, one without words which makes working with horses from any city, county, state or country easy once you understand horse  language.

After completing the last workshop, I sat on my patio in Istanbul overlooking the Bospherous river and was filled with gratitude, joy and blessings for having the opportunity to work with the wonderful people and my dear friend Gila. I was amazed at all that transpired and thinking of how OUR dream became a reality, when fireworks started going off over the river. It was a wonderful affirmation of the work we did, and reinforced a heartfelt knowing that I would return to continue working with the leaders, teams and individuals of Turkey to foster growth and development. 

What a blessing! 

What dreams, intentions and visions do you hold for your life?  Are you moving making forward in making them reality?  If not, what’s holding you back?  If you are… YEAH!!!  Keep moving forward and live life to it’s fullest.